


Would you have been happy?

by Koscheyyy



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Light night talks, M/M, Unfaithfulness, implied sex, thinking of the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koscheyyy/pseuds/Koscheyyy
Summary: Opening old wounds is well and good but one must have the needle to stitch it closed when you grow sick of bleeding.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Mordechai Lukas/Jonah Magnus
Comments: 7
Kudos: 66





	Would you have been happy?

“Jonah” 

Its a shock to say the least. The quiet whisper of his name, his true name, slipping across the darkness like a knife through butter. The strangeness of it making his mouth run dry. 

“Peter” he whispers in kind, not turning back to make eye contact. 

The pause is long and taught. Grating on his on nerves like a razor over piano strings. He dare not breathe incase he upsets the winding, winding, winding of his husband’s thoughts. He does not want to scare off the hushed intrepidness of the rabbit braving the open meadow. 

For that is what the space between them is, though minimal, the places where their naked bodies do not meet is a no-mans land. The skin that is not dogged by silent breath and healing bruises is a defence. Their minds the epicentre of such chaos. Quiet now. 

“Would you have married Mordechai, given the chance?” 

“Yes” as is Jonah’s way he gives no hesitation to revel in the truth. He would have married them all if he could. And divorced them all just as quickly. 

Peter makes him wait once more. The quiet dragging by like grains of sand, crowding in bloody wounds and irritating old scars. Jonah looks dead ahead into the darkness of the bedroom. Their bedroom. For now. 

Maybe that flimsy fact will change again when the sun rises and hushed agreements are made in the dark. Jonah simply waits to find out how the fates will turn them once again. 

“Would you have been happy?” Peter asks, tone unchanging from his first question. 

“I would have gotten funding” once again Jonah is quick to answer. 

“But would you have been happy?” 

Jonah thinks for a long time. Thinks of Mordechai- pulling the faded memories into the light and noticing how damaged they are. He had known Mordechai for a long time. Known him intimately. Known his shadowed face against pillows and Known his candlelit scowl at the clubhouse. Known how he laughed and shouted. Known how he made love and broke bone. He knew of his habits as a first hand witness to them all. 

He knew Mordechai was a stern, impassive arse of a man who counted his money fiercely and only smoked a certain brand of pipe after every meal. He knew Mordechai detested repetition and would sooner shoot himself than lose an argument. He knew that Mordechai was unfaithful, in every sense of the word. 

Unfaithful to his wife. Unfaithful to his vows. Unfaithful to the people he was even unfaithful with. 

Jonah knew that fact with an ache in his bones. 

More than once he had seen the man trail after some bright, young thing into the shadows at parties. More than once he had done the same to conceal his pain. 

He wondered how his wife must have felt. But laying here now, in the arms of his lawfully own Lukas, he truly knows. It is a numbness. A cold, unfeeling absences that claws from the inside out and taints his organs with a bruise-like mottle. 

“Why are you asking this of me?” 

Peter stays quiet for so long that he fears for one moment he’s fallen asleep. But no. His giant hand sweeps from hip to sternum with an impatient sigh. 

“Curiosity?”

How unfaithful to your nature, Jonah muses, feeling Peter’s calloused fingers brush up against his nipple. Mordechai never did this. Cuddle and lounge, pillow talk and foreplay. He never stayed a moment more than needed. 

He never stayed. 

Never touched him like he cared. Never lingered on his pleasure, only what he had to trade. 

Elias sighs into his pillow, thinking of Peter’s question. His left hand moving to rest atop Peter’s; the gold band of their union glinting in the pallid moonlight. 

“No. I dont think i would have been happy”

Peter only hums in contemplation for a moment. He is then pressing a chaste kiss to Elias’ spine and the moment is forgotten. 

Crumpled up like a letter written to be destroyed and thrown in the hearth to feed the fire. Jonah thinks of Mordechai no longer. The memories shoved back down to the shadows where they belong, never to surface again. 

In the darkness he settles down with Peter heavy against his back and allows his cold to chill his bones.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated💜


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